Parent
and Family Influences
 Many factors contribute to self-esteem and how it is
developed. Currently, self-esteem is being studied for a genetic influence.
It was found that only 30-40% of the variance was due to genetic influences.
The other portion was due to the non-shared environment (Neiss,
Stevenson, & Sedikides, 2003). The genetic
component that may be influencing self-esteem could possibly include energy
level, temperament, and physical, social and cognitive abilities (Mruk, 2006). It has been suggested that if a person is
born into a family where they are welcomed and accepted for who they are as
an individual based on their characteristics, they will develop the
competence for healthy self-esteem (Mruk, 2006).
Coopersmith first mentioned parental involvement in self-esteem
in 1967 and is still receiving attention in research. In previous research,
sense of worth in children was correlated with maternal support and paternal
support influenced competence (Gecas, 1971). Gecas also reported that middle class fathers have a
tendency to spend more time with their children increasing the chance for
more supportive time together. Encouraging parents offer children more
positive support than those parents who do not encourage their children.
Encouraging children to complete something (an activity, project or game)
with mastery will help develop self-esteem (Burger, 1995). It has been found
that parents who are involved with their children and not absent from their
lives develop greater levels of self-esteem than those children who have
absent parents (Coopersmith, 1967).
Not just spending time with children will work, the
quality of the time spent together is very critical in developing a healthy
self-esteem. A parent should not talk down to their child, name call or act
in a harsh manner towards their child, this will most likely lead to negative
consequence on self-esteem (Kernis & Goldman,
2003). The parent needs to accept their child; their strengths and
weaknesses, not just approve of them. It is important to recognize strengths
and weaknesses in order to encourage a child to investigate and what will
work for that child in that given situation (Mruk,
2006). When acceptance does not occur, this can become very damaging to a
child’s self-esteem (Kernis, 2003). When self-esteem
has not been developed, a child tends to place a greater value on extrinsic
factors, making them more vulnerable. A child may be more likely to put them
self down for not performing well on a test or not getting to the college of
choice.
It is important to set goals and standards for
children, however, it is important to make sure those goals and standards are
attainable. Not following through with this can lead to destructive
self-esteem. When goals and standards are set too high, this can lead to
anxious and restrictive behaviors. If goals and standards are not set, it is
likely that this will lead to impulsivity and aggressiveness (Newman &
Newman, 1987, as cited in Mruk 2006).
The most encouraged parenting style is the
democratic style; there is a willingness to discuss issues and compromise on
a solution. It is important to remember the rights of each person involved to
not damage the self-esteem of one another. It is important to keep in mind
that a parent needs to be approving, nurturing, and responsive, not
disapproving, uninterested, and unresponsive (Leary & MacDonald, 2003).
Previous research has found that first born and only
children tend to have a slightly higher self-esteem (Self-esteem, 2008). This
has been thought due to the fact that they spend more time with parents.
However, as previously mentioned, it is the quality of the time spent with
children that matter, not just the quantity of time.
A child is a sponge, they tend to absorb everything
they say and hear. A child will learn how to react to situations by how their
parents reacted to similar situations. A parents needs to be a good example
to their child by teaching them by exposure on how to react appropriately to
situations without doing harm to their self-esteem. This is known as modeling
(Mruk, 2006).
No true studies have been conducted on the idea that
children who have one best friend can help withdrawn children overcome
low-self-esteem. Children who are in a mutual best friend relationship have
been found to adjust more effectively then those children who do not have a
best friend (Hartup, 1997 as cited in Mash &
Barkley, 2003).
The most important
thing in communication is to hear what isn't being said. ~Peter
F. Drucker
Peer Relationship Influences
(adapted from https://www.angelfire.com/planet/lindseysspace/whattodo.html)
Today, we live in a technology driven world;
children of all ages are given cell phones and computers to do as they please
with them. Children have learned to use them to their full advantage making
it more difficult to know what is going on in their lives. With this in mind,
a new form of bullying has emerged, Cyber Bullying. Cyber Bullying can lead
to the same damaging effects as the more commonly known types; direct
aggression (mostly physical and you know who is attacking the victim) or
indirect aggression (the aggressor is not necessarily identified, tends to
produce socially damaging consequences to the victim) (Archer & Coyne, 2005;
Wright, 2003; Veenstra et al, 2005; Bauman & DelRio, 2006).
Being a victim of bullying is very detrimental to a
developing child. Victims tend to either be passive or provocative (Batsche & Knoff, 1994;
Bowers, Smith, & Binney, 1994; Olweus, 1993; Nansel et al.,
2001 as cited in Veenstra et al., 2005).
The passive
victim tends to be more anxious and withdrawn from different social
interactions and have fewer friends.
The provocative
victim is most likely to be anxious and aggressive, and then tend to be
alienated from their classmates.
Victims of bullying tend to develop lower
self-esteem and self-worth. They struggle academically and socially. Children
who either withdraw or are isolated tend to be more at risk for depression
(Wright, 2003). Unfortunately, these characteristics will follow them through
adulthood if they do not receive help to overcome the experiences they have
endured.
The aggressor, or bully, also suffers from many
detrimental experiences. They tend to be rejected from peers and classmates,
are isolated, and have difficulty academically (Wright, 2003).
Viewpoints of bullies and self-esteem have changed
with more research. At first, bullies were thought to have low self-esteem.
Now, it is believed that they have high unstable self-esteem. This results in
the bullies victimizing their peers to gain self-esteem seeing others being
put down and hurt.
A
loyal friend laughs at your jokes when they're not so good, and sympathizes
with your problems when they're not so bad. ~Arnold
H. Glasgow
School Performance and Self-Esteem
During the 1990’s when there was a vast amount of
self-help books published, schools were also targeting students and
self-esteem.
The programs being introduced were not research
based, they were going by the assumption that if children had higher levels
of self-esteem, they would perform better in school. The programs introduced
to boost children’s self-esteem to improve grades, unfortunately had a
negative effect on students. It only inflated their self-esteem, but grades
remained the same (Self-esteem, 2008).
Childhood
Disorders associated with Self-Esteem (but not limited to)
Depression
Anxiety
Post-Traumatic
Stress
Obesity
Bulemia
Nervosa
Anorexia Nervosa
Oppositional
Defiant Disorder
Conduct
Disorder
Attention
Deficit Hyperactive Disorder
Academic
problems
Attachment disorders
Social
Withdrawal
Parents
and teachers, if you suspect that your child is
suffering, please contact your physician or a licensed professional for help.
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